Friday, March 18, 2011

A Different Kind of Family

   My best friend. My mentor. She listens. She talks. She laughs. All while making me feel better. She sounds amazing, doesn't she? She is.
   Stacie. A physical therapist. She does my pool therapy. I love her to death. We have way too much fun for one to call it therapy. I anxiously await Tuesdays and Thursdays, the two days of the week I'm guaranteed to see her (unless she goes blind - inside joke).
   I can always count on her to be there, to support me, and to make me laugh, whether we're talking about penguins (this one's for you, Mary!) or bullying. No matter how bad my day has been, Stacie makes it amazing. Not many people can do that. She's so special in so many ways! I can't even describe it. Trying to write this here on a computer is just not good enough. Now that I'm trying, I'm realizing that this probably doesn't even sound very good. Stacie is just indescribably incredible. I wish every one of you could have the pleasure of meeting her in person. (Oh and Stacie, I'm still mad at you for not going to your dance class. Rainy weather is not an excuse!) Love ya Stacie!
   There are a lot of people in my life that are indescribable. I think I've realized this more with arthritis. For example, I already knew my parents were indescribable, but before arthritis, I never knew people like Stacie and my rheumatologist. Here's a very abbreviated list:
2) My wonderful rheumatologist
3) My teachers
   Thank you if you're in that list! Even if you're not, thank you for reading my blog. Furthermore, thank you to my friends, who are also amazing. I have too many people to thank and too little time!
   I am worried about my fingers, because today in science and at dinner, they turned BRIGHT red and it scares me because they hurt so bad and I know they're inflamed. I cried at the end of science. I was hurting, frustrated, and upset that they were hurting that bad all on top of my right knee and back killing me. My science teacher was extremely nice and came up to me. She offered to let me stay in her classroom for a while to give my joints a rest before starting the long walk to my first elective. My social studies teacher also came in. She mentioned that all my friends were worried about me. I love you guys! In the future, please don't worry about me. I'm always going to be fine. I just have to get through my roughest days.
   Anyway, after a couple minutes in the science classroom, I blurted out, "Well, I don't want to just stand here!" At this my science teacher laughed and my social studies teacher walked back to her classroom. My science teacher then procceeded to walk me down to my elective. She saw my untied shoe and offered to tie it for me (I can't; my back, knees, fingers, elbows, and wrists don't make it possible) but I stubbornly refused to accept her help.
   I am really super stubborn about help. It makes me feel useless. Yes, I have arthritis, but I am NOT useless, though it often feels that way. I know that physically I can't do everything, and I am real with myself. I let myself down when I can't do simple things like hold my pencil and tie my shoes. It frustrates me. I know I set myself up for disappointment but I don't know what else to do. Goals? I'm starting to hate them. They're just an open door to failure. I know I'll change my mind. Not yet, though. At least not today. Too much help tends to make us lazy. So I refuse to accept it. I occasionally accept it, but not often. Also, I feel awful for the people who probably feel obligated to help me. I am such a mess.
   I was just chatting with my friend Julia on Gmail. She called me stubborn. I laughed at the irony. I am in fact the most stubborn person I've ever met in my life. I don't believe in holidays where you have to wear a certain color (such as St. Patrick's Day). On top of it all, I expect myself to be perfect and I set goals I'll never reach. Oh and did I mention I don't accept help? J
   Family. What comes to mind? Probably your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. But if you asked me who my family was, I'd probably say which one. Of course I have my direct family, whom I love very much. Then I have my school family, which consists of caring teachers and close-knit friends. Thirdly and finally, I have my medical family. My rheumatologist and Stacie are the main two in this group, followed by a line of patients who I frequently see at the pool. I love all of my families more than anything in the world.


This blog post is dedicated to Stacie.


  1. lol goal setting!!!!!! rachel, you really are stubborn and you should ask for help more but i am sure that if the time comes and you really do need help then i hope that you know that you can always trust me!!!!!!

    luv ya!

  2. You seem like a very genuine, very brave girl, and wise beyond your years. I hope that you and others will benefit from your blog. Keep writing!

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. oh wait rachel tht was me :P


  5. Hey Julia! Sorry I deleted your first comment I'll explain it at school.

  6. Wow Rachel you can right a lot!!!! No affence intended

  7. Have you ever thought of writing a book? Because I think you would have a bestseller!

  8. i agree with joey a book fits you but i will need to get 1 of the first copies

  9. Hey Joey and Amber,
    I write books all the time. I am the only one allowed to read them.... Just wait because one day I'll be hitting the shelves! Luv you guys!

  10. LOL cant wait 2 read them!!!


Feel free to comment or shoot me an email - I'll try to get back to you either way!