Sunday, June 26, 2011

Wondering

   Everyone I know agrees that I never give my mind a break. I am always, always thinking. Lately I have been wondering about my future. I very strongly want to be a missionary doctor. But who knows? I have been known to dramatically change, question, and view things differently on the spot.
   Maybe there is no use in wondering.
   Maybe there is.
   I had a strange dream the other night (as usual). There were two spacecrafts and about ten kids from my science class were in one of them, led by my science teacher and a lady I met when some kids stayed at our house. In the other spacecraft was another science teacher in my school and abut twelve of his kids. Anyway, it was about 5:00 or 6:00 a.m., and the spacecraft was scheduled to launch at 8:00 a.m. The decision I had to make was whether to go or not. Like all space missions, it was risky and dangerous. This one, however, was particularly risky and dangerous. Yet it was a great opportunity. I couldn't decide. Everyone was telling me different things.
   I woke up frightened and frantic. I sat up, ready to sort out my feelings, and thought, Why didn't I go? It would be amazing... Then it hit me: fear. I wasn't going because of fear.
   I am not afraid of death. I am Christian, and I have accepted my ticket to heaven as Corrie ten Boom puts it. Instead, I am afraid of pain and suffering.
   I think one of the most awful things one can do is to let fear control your life. Yeah, it's okay to be scared, but when you let that feeling control your life, you've got a problem on your hands. Now I'm not saying you should go jumping off buildings or not be cautious, but most things we're scared of are actually pretty safe. Things like traveling on a risky space mission, however, are not. But would it not be magnificent to die gazing at the stars that are so close and earth that is so far? If we don't take risks in life, what are we living for?
   Looking back on it, I wouldn't go, not at this time in my life. I'd go only if I felt like I'd accomplished everything on Earth. I feel called to help others. I would go, just not yet.
   The only way to grow is to take risks. This motto has gotten me through a recent situation and continues to inspire me.
   Anyway, I was so intrigued by this dream that I asked all of my family and even emailed my science teacher. I've gotten "Yes, I would definitely go," and "No way!" So what would you do? Comment with your answer, please!

Love,
Rachel 

2 comments:

  1. You know what rachel, if you asked me this before telling me about fear of pain, danger or misery is a burden I would have said NEVER! But now I realize that I do not do things that could be a once in a life time opporutinty because I am afraid of misery. My answer has been changed to YES YOU CANT STOP ME!

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  2. i agree completely with mandy, you're such an inspirational writer:)

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