Saturday, November 5, 2011

Don't Speak

   I am making a little Hall-of-Fame type thing for things I hate to hear about my arthritis. I have received all of these comments, and I need to vent.

1. "It's going to be okay."
    Why? Because it's not okay with me. Of course it is okay with you. You don't live in constant pain.
2. "I understand,"
    Why? Do you really understand? Think before you speak, or just don't speak at all.
3. "You're so brave,"
    Why? I don't feel brave. I feel like you misunderstand me when I call you that. Plus, it makes you impossible to talk to, because I don't want to ruin your image of me.
4. "My grandma has that,"
    Why? So basically, you're calling me old. And your grandma and I probably don't even have the same type of arthritis. On top of that, it's different being young with arthritis.
5. "Try insert medication/therapy name here,"
    Why? You don't know me, what medications I'm on, or what side effects this stuff comes with. This decision is between me, my parents, and my doctors.
6. "You seem to be doing better,"
    Why? I don't feel any better, to be honest. This makes me want to scream. I am not the hard shell I sometimes appear to be.
7. "I don't believe you. You're too young."
    Why? Do you honestly think I would think of a disease called polyarticular juvenile rheumatoid arthritis just off the top of my head? Of course I'm telling the truth! If you want to call the one pediatric rheumatologist left for me in my area, feel free to do so!
8. "I know someone who has much worse arthritis,"
    Why? It makes me feel like my disease is unimportant and I shouldn't be feeling any pain. Regardless, I am. So don't even bring it up.
9. "I read about a woman who tried acupuncture (or something of the sort) and she feels great now!)
      Why? Have you noticed that we're not the same person?
10. "Do you still have it?"
      Why? Of course! This just brings my mind to when I was diagnosed, something I try to avoid thinking about.
11. "You're lucky you don't have to (write notes, walk around, carry your book bag),"
      Why? I think this is perhaps the worst of all. I would give so much to be able to do these things. You are lucky you can write notes, walk around, and carry your book bag. I itch to run. I want to help carry things and write my own notes. I don't consider myself to be "lucky" for not having to do these things.
12. "Stay positive,"
      Why? Sometimes, I just need someone to empathize.
13. "You don't really need that," *Gestures to my wheelchair.
      Why? First of all, you wouldn't know. Second of all, what are you trying to say here? Third of all, I can go through my arthritis from early July 2010, if you want. I can talk to you about every time I haven't been able to walk down the hall. This one makes me want to scream, "SHUT UP!!!!!"

   Sorry for the angry blog post.


1 comment:

  1. Rachel,
    I'm so sorry for what you have to go through, really I am. I don't have any idea what your going through, but I do know the frustration of someone saying I'm sorry or I understand. I know it's extremely frustrating. I know this, not more, but this, and I am sorry


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