Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Dreaded Word


Check out my new Poetry Page!!!!  

   I am proud of that fact that I am strong enough to live with arthritis.
   Not that I have a choice, but it makes me stronger. It opens doors. It reminds me of my values and what's really important. One thing I've struggled with this year is people avoiding the subject of my arthritis.
(Common Scene)
    Other Person (OP): Does that hurt your, uh, your...
    Me: My arthritis?
    OP (Looks away awkwardly): Yeah, that.
    Me: I don't care if you say it.
    OP: Say what?
    Me: Arthritis. It doesn't bother me.
    OP: Oh, okay. Arthritis.
    Me: And the answer to your question is yes. But it's fine.
    I can't help but laugh a little at these scenarios. People treat it as if avoiding it makes it better. I understand that the intentions are good, but it just creates an even more tense situation than before. Point of the story is, "arthritis" isn't a bad word.
    The other thing about arthritis is that it is an unknown and invisible disease. My arthritis is not visible without advanced technology and no one knows what I'm talking about at first when I explain my condition. I wrote a little poem about that. :)

Maybe if they knew,
Maybe if they felt it,
Maybe if they could see it,
Maybe if it wasn't so invisible,
Things would be different.

Maybe if they understood,
Maybe if they realized it,
Maybe if they looked deeper,
Maybe if it wasn't so cruel,
Things would be different.

    I hope you like my poem!!!!!!!!
Be sure to look for a "Do Speak" post in the upcoming week. (It'll be like the Don't Speak post except with positive things to say.)

Love,
Rachel 



Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Update

   I saw de rheumy!!!!!!!!!!
   Dr. Blank (obviously not his real name) is bumping up my methotrexate dosage from 15 to 20 milligrams. Hopefully this will help. I always get frustrated at these appointments because everyone says I'm doing so much better when I really don't feel any better.
    My fingers swelled today and my social studies teacher was kind enough to let me take a picture of my fingers to send it to my parents. Well, I texted them the picture at like 11:30 or so, and I finally got a reply at 2:06 from my mom. It's really helpful when she texts me back that late.

    Me (11:30): Fingers are inflamed :/ (attached picture of fingers)
    Mom (2:06): Are you ok
    Me (2:06): Yeah i'm okay now but alex said my worst was swollen in social studies

    My mom never replied after that. Point of the story is, my fingers and wrist were swollen.
    I always have trouble deciding if my wrist is swollen, especially when I know my fingers are, so I leaned over to Alex (my friend who sits next to me) and asked him. "It's a little warm," he said, "It feels...swollen." I thanked him and continued on with writing my notes (yes, I do mean writing not typing).
   Also, my arm is sad because everyone thinks that the bruise looks like a blueberry. The bruise is from my blood draw, and the red part is from the tape ripping off. I don't know why it bruised so badly, because it didn't hurt anymore than any other blood draw I've had.  :(
   But I'm doing alright.

That's all for now!!!!

Love,
Rachel